Beer Review – Miller High Life

Posted on by Dave

Miller High Life
Miller Brewing Company
Style: Pilsner
Created: 1903

The Champagne of Beer is the tagline. I don’t recall champagne tasting like pure, unadulterated rear-end. This beer is pure piss. Wait, water – beerish flavored piss. I conclude this “review” with a heartfelt blecht!


  • Price: Cheaper than a street taco in downtown Tijuana
  • Appearance: Bum piss with bubbles.
  • First Impression: If this was a first date, I would have about-faced and sprinted back to my vehicle as soon as she answered the door.
  • Taste/Smell: Imagine an elephant, on fire, covered in burning tires, in July, in the Gobi Desert, surrounded by dead skunks. That would taste better.
  • Drinkability: If intravenous was an option, it might be the only easy way to get this into your system without having to actually drink it.
  • Buzz Factor: Dreadful and haunting dreams, mixed with an odd sense of foreboding.
  • Drank With: Bo
  • Final Verdict: Run. Run far away.

I wouldn’t want you to pour this beer on me even if I was on fire.

1 Comment so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. GuitarGeek January 20, 2012 at 8:57 pm -

    I put it somewhere between warm piss and dirty bath water…

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