Really?? Album Cover Fails (Part I)
By David Mayne
You ever see an album cover that just makes you go, WTF?? Well I have, and here’s a few! Send in crazy ass covers YOU find out there on the internets, and we’ll do our damned’est to come up with captions!
And who the hell wouldn’t be “happy again” listening to the singing undertaker, Merrill Womach? Apparently the guy survived some sort of plane crash up in Beaver March, Oregon, and now sells his pre-recorded “music” to funeral homes across the land. I’m just happy, that HE’S happy….again.
Your all set for the big night. You’re lady friend is coming over, the table is set, the bubbly is on ice…what are you forgetting to make the mood just right? JOYCE. That’s what the hell what! Big hair, big glasses, a single red rose, and the amazing Technicolor pant suit!! Thanks Joyce, for making this night special, you old tiger!
When A.A. Allen preaches, he doesn’t hold back. God ain’t some nimbly pimbly, hand-holdin’, buddy-buddy, push over. Nope! God is a KILLER!!! But a killer what? Artist? Soft ball player? Looking up Asa A.’s bio, or AA to his friends, I found he eventually died of alcoholism, leading me to belive that maybe “God” wasn’t the killer, but rather Jim Beam! Killer at large. News at 11.
One look at this soggy sum bitch and you’d love your life too! Something about the wet Twain-esque handlebar combined with a waterfall-unto-mullet splashdown just makes me want to throw on some Jim Post and bask in the glory that IS, “Love My Life”. Who wants a moustache ride!
Sex, money, and murder sell, yo. And no much more so than on MC Pooh’s sophomore release, Funky As I Wanna Be. I’m sure that when Mr. Pooh sat down with record execs one afternoon and said, “look, you know what I think’s a really good idea?!….” they should have listened a little more carefully, I mean, with “something kind of smooth on the mellow tip” being the first line in the song, they couldn’t have thought he was talking about roasting marshmallows around the campfire. You go, pooh!